I am on my own, Kid

Am I the only one who feels like COVID took two years of their life? Because the universe is trying to catch up and it's tough.

L'île de Ngor - Senegal

If there is one artist I don't like, it's Taylor Swift. Since the scandal with Kanye West in 2016, I can't stand her anymore. Being a big fan of Kanye, I had to support him at the time. Now, things have changed, at least publicly. He's become too problematic for me to engage with on the internet.

Anyway, getting back to Taylor, although I love to hate her, I have to concede that this woman can write. Yes, I admit it, I have some of her songs in my playlist and some of them are bangers. We can thank her for "1989", that's for sure.

I imagine you're wondering where I'm going with this, I'm getting there. My cousin (Hello Yvette, if you're reading this) made me listen to a song from her latest album Midnights and I became obsessed. It's the fifth title of the almbum: "You on your own, Kid". In the meantime, I've had time to appreciate several other songs and to be honest with you, I even thought about getting tickets for her tour. But well, the universe had other plans. ( NDLR: If you know anyone selling two tickets for Paris or Amsterdam, I'm interested.)

As for the song, "You on your own, Kid", the almost melancholic melody, the lyrics, the atmosphere, everything is there to make me swoon. Everything builds up and a realization sets in: she is alone and so am I.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Gbg6Z70J7E

Tough reality, isn't it? In the end, we are solitary beings - you can choose to see it that way - from always and forever. How does it make you feel to think about that? Personally, I find it almost liberating. If we are alone, we don't have to answer to anyone, and the weight of the world falls off our shoulders (hi, anxiety, if you're reading this). Knowing this, all we have to do is live and experience, but most importantly, not be afraid.

This reminds me of a guy whose opening line is "What is the meaning of life according to you?" I agree with you, it's a weird conversation starter. Being a polite person, I answered him and said something like, "Since we're going to die alone, we might as well try to enjoy life with people around us." I'll spare you the end of that conversation, but it made me think.

If we are alone, what's the point of making friends and working on our relationships, right? I've always liked being alone, maybe because when I was younger I had trouble making friends and being bullied didn't help matters. So, I enjoyed getting lost in reading. I was that girl who was a little too tall, a little too round, a little too developed for my age, who always had her head in a book and preferred to wander in the universes of my readings rather than confront the real world around me. But as a teenager, everything changed. I had only one desire to be normal, to fit in and be like everyone else. I think that's the curse of that period, we're so afraid of not being someone that we prefer to be everyone until that fateful moment when we regain our individuality. This desire for singularity, the need to discover oneself, to respond to one's own needs and to create one's dreams and destinies (is it real or not? You have 3 hours). Faced with all these paths that were opening up to me, I realized that in the end I was alone and that no one would take that step for me.

This realization led me to reflect more on my solitude, and I realized that it was not necessarily a curse, but perhaps an opportunity. As Taylor Swift puts it so well, "Everything you lose is a step you take - there's no reason to be afraid." Perhaps this period of solitude has offered me the opportunity to better understand myself, to reconnect with my deepest passions and aspirations. I discovered that solitude does not mean isolation, but rather an invitation to explore my inner self and appreciate my own company. And if, in the end, I'm not talking about solitude but about self-confidence. And yes, you didn't see it coming, did you? It all comes back to this self-confidence in life, this intrinsic value that we give ourselves and that is sometimes upset by others, especially the value we place on their accomplishments. Although we are social beings and some more than others, there is no point in comparing ourselves because we all have our own path to follow. Accepting our solitude and transforming it into a solid self-confidence allows us to take control of our lives, to realize our dreams without fearing the judgment of others, and to fully live each moment. It "just" takes embracing it because it is the foundation on which we can build a fulfilling and authentic life.

Everything you lose is a step you take

In the end, I can only encourage you to take time to truly assimilate your situation and to take advantage of this time of solitude to get to know yourself better, discover unknown passions and seize this opportunity to grow and flourish. In a world where everything moves very fast, slowing down to enjoy yourself and the silence can be an enriching experience. Personally, my guilty pleasure is a one-hour podcast and a walk in the forest.

We are all alone, each on our own. The bad news is that I can only count on myself now. The good news is I can face it and so do you.

So, we might as well live, it won't change anything from usual.